Finally Hit Rock Bottom…

…on the weekend. 

I knew something had changed because the delicious Chocolate Gooey Cake that I made on Friday night just didn’t taste good to me. I guess the guilt and weight gain isn’t worth the sweet gooeyness any longer.  Good.  This means I’m ready to begin my healthy lifestyle…

My first plan of attack is to get into ketosis.  For those who aren’t familiar with low-carb dieting, ketosis is a state of fat burning that is attained through the elimination of almost all carbohydrate from the diet.  I kick-start this process by eating only meat and eggs for 3 to 4 days.  It usually works very well.  After 3 days, all the stored water weight is eliminated along with all cravings for sweets. 

I haven’t considered any long term goals just yet.  I suppose I’d be happy to fit into last year’s clothes…hopefully, that isn’t too far off…..

Still have my M&M’s habit….but

….I’m slowly changing.

Saw my GP on June 30th and had all the required tests for my yearly physical.  Doc feels that I’m in good condition to get pregnant, but I have to take folic acid for 6 months before trying.  I’m already taking it.  Since I started taking the tablets on July 1, I think trying to get pregnant beginning January 1, 2009 is a good deadline.

Since my previous posts, I’ve developed a pretty extreme Oreo Cakesters addiction.  No clue how much weight those puppies are responsible for, but my denim capri pants from last Summer don’t fit anymore.  Damn.

So, the plan is to get healthy before trying for our little bundle.  Today is Thursday.  I have Cakesters available so I’m thinking I will start fresh on Saturday or Sunday and have my blood tests (requested by the doctor) next Friday.  That should work out just fine.

So, the baby train has now left the station.  Let the fun begin.

The Beginning…..

As much as it pains me to have such a non-descript and plain title, I’m at a loss.  What title could possibly convey all the information  I expect to share in my blog?   I refuse to worry about the title and instead, hope that the reader will make the decision to return based on my content.

Before getting into specifics, I feel that I should share some fundamental information regarding my writing style–I am very conversational.  These pages will serve as a forum to spill the contents of my brain into the cyber-world.  Some will be nice, some will be embarassing and some might be sad, but hopefully this will help me realize my goals for the next year.

Onward…

I AM a girl named Ernie.  This is truth.  The name doesn’t bother me.  It’s unique.  It’s funny.  It’s ME.

I decided to start this blog in order to have a permanent record of my feelings, thoughts and goals mid-way through the year of 2008.  My first inclination was to write a physical journal, but because I intend to be truthful with MYSELF, I couldn’t take the chance that my Husband would find my journal.  I trust him 100%.  I know he wouldn’t read it.  I was just terrified that it would end up staring him in the face and I would disappoint him terribly…..

SO, you might ask what I’ve done to deserve such scrutiny from my significant other.  Thankfully, it’s not something terrible.  I haven’t cheated or spent our savings.  I have simply given into another craving that could prove to be more damaging and more disappointing to my Husband than an affair.  The truth is, I’ve indulged in a pound-a-day Peanut M&M addiction for the past six weeks. 

This back-slide into the world of addiction has earned me a gain of approximately 35 lbs.  *sigh*

The reasons why I do this are unclear.  I feel like a drug addict, stealing away at lunchtime, visiting a local bulk food store and delivering two scoops of the candy into a clear bag.  I return to my office and slowly eat each candy at a rate of about 120 per hour until the entire bag is finished.  Sometimes it takes one day, sometimes it takes two days, but that bag NEVER lasts until day three.

Why does something that is so clearly unhealthy make me feel so happy?  I feel utterly euphoric while melting the colourful buttons of chocolate-peanutty yumminess into my mouth.  It doesn’t occur to me that my clothes are getting smaller by the second and my arteries are crying for mercy.  Logically speaking, I KNOW this is destructive behaviour and it has to STOP.

I think I’m just attracted to the colours.  It probably has a Sesame Street connection seeing as I’m a child of the 70’s, but that remains to be researched.