PMS…The Monster In My Closet

Today my three day battle with PMS came to a halt when I succumbed to 1 cookie, 1 package of ThinSations cookies and a chocolate chip muffin.  A mere shadow of what I may have eaten in the past when smacked square in the face with the PMS monster, but a failure nonetheless.   I’m not letting this define my success, however.  

After having booked our tickets for Amsterdam this morning, the need to lose weight has come to the forefront—I don’t have bulkhead seats.   My Husband and I are going to be sandwiched together in the 27th row for 7 hours.  If I can lose 40 lbs, I’ll be SO much better off on that flight…*sigh*…it shouldn’t be too difficult to lose.  I’ll have to remember to keep my eye on goal and not let the temptations get the best of me.

Earlier this week I watched a documentary on TLC about a woman who was 29 years old and weighed 900 lbs.  I found it amazing that a person could gain 900 lbs in 29 years.  Although the woman,  Renee Willams, mentioned in an open plea on the internet that she wished to dispel the myth that overweight people grossly overeat, her own daughter mentioned her Mom “eating her feelings” and once eating 8 junior hamburgers from a well-known burger restaurant. 

This made me wonder if someone who weighed 900 lbs could have an appetite strong enough to eat 8 hamburgers, wouldn’t a 300 lb person like myself have a greater appetite than someone like my Sister, who weighs 120lbs?  I’ve often had lunch with my Sister and watched her eat half of her sandwich and take the other half home.  She is legitimately full.  I couldn’t be full on a half sandwich, so what gives?   Could it be that once fat cells become large, they desire to be fed?  Do fat people stretch their stomachs and require extra food to feel satisfied?  

 I wish I had more time to research these things, but I don’t have the patience for diet research.   I’m tired of hearing the “ease” of eating less.  I’m tired of hearing about will power.   While I’ll agree that a calorie deficit is required for weight loss, I think eating protein for the sake of staying satisfied is greatly underestimated when it comes to the dieting “experts”.   Eliminating processed foods has always worked for me.  Simply eating less has not.  Eating less of the wrong foods makes you feel starved–no wonder low calorie diets are so difficult to maintain!  Besides, I’ve been following a low carb diet for 2 weeks and I’ve lost 16 lbs–that’s proof enough for me that it works.  Let’s see how I do after this brutal PMS week…..

New Year, New Goals…

Over the Christmas Holidays, I decided it was best to get back to my healthy way of eating.   It was obvious that a pound of M&M’s, eaten over the course of two days was killing me.  The headaches were becoming unbearable, not to mention the sluggishness, shortness of breath and overall bloated feeling.  Who was I kidding?  There is no freedom in telling yourself that you’re free to eat whatever you choose–short term gain for long term pain.

I do have some weight-reated goals:

1.  I’d like to be a Mother and good Moms are not obese.  I want to have energy so I can spend quality time with my child–not to mention the health benefits of being fit during pregnancy.  I’m concerned about my child’s health and I don’t feel I can be a good role model for healthy eating if I don’t actually eat healthy ALL THE TIME.

2.  I’m travelling to Europe in April and I’d like to be comfortable in my seat for the 7 hour flight.   Europe isn’t like North America.  We won’t have a car while we’re there, so it will be public transportation and walking for 2 weeks.  I don’t want to have sore and swollen feet.

In my lifetime, I have made goals like this.  Unfortunately, I often “cheat” while I’m on vacation OR I feel that my work is done once the goal comes to pass.  This cannot happen in 2009.   Speaking in health terms, I can afford to go hog wild (excuse the pun) with food.  I have to show some restrait.  I have to be healthy and fit. 

Over the weekend, I considered that blogging my progress from time to time would serve as an incentive as well as a method of saving my thoughts.  The idea of writing a book about my trials and tribulations has crossed my mind.  Diet books are popular and inspirational writings come in so many configurations, but how many books are written by people who haven’t succeeded?  I want to succeed, but I want others to know that it was a long process, rather than something that was “magic” once I found the secret.  As a fat woman, I want other women to know that I did this for my health, rather than for the sake of being “accepted” by others.  One would assume that in this day of successful women, it wouldn’t be difficult to find someone who agreed with me, but I have YET to find a woman who loses weight and doesn’t aspire to be “hot”. 

I have been low-carbing since Jan 5th, 2009.  I am not super strict with myself.  What’s the point?  I learned the hard way that my type A approach to dieting is the kiss of death.  More than once, I’ve dieted myself into a cravings stupor that led me to my pound-a-day M&M’s habit that overcame me for half of 2008.  My mantra is simple–if there are few low-carb choices, eat smaller portions of the carby things.   When faced with sweets, the choice is NOT to indulge at all.  Sweets only making the cravings monster worse, so why bother?  At the moment, my cravings are gone…..

I have my yearly physical on July 8, 2009.   I want to be able to be weighed without cringing on that day.  I want my Doctor to congratulate me on my progress and be proud of my accomplishments.  It will be a difficult process, but I plan to get there.  Who knows?  I  might even exercise!